So, I’m back to the guilty days.
So I did a mean thing today. Here’s what happened. I came to school 20 minutes late. I have this General Psychology class which I cross-enrolled from the Entrepreneurship Department. So when I got there, my classmate was in front, standing by the lectern, the thing is she was reading a piece of paper in front of the class. Then I asked Menny, “Is she reporting?” okay, maybe I sounded like I was mocking her, then Menny laughed, but really it’s half sarcasm and half question, really. Then one of them looked at me. I think they overheard what I’ve just said.
The thing is that was kind of arrogant, really. Some part of me doesn’t want to care but other part of me is worried of what they might say against me. I don’t want to give a fuck but I can’t help but feel guilty.
I mean, it’s not my fault she’s not really reporting. Technically, she was just reading, barely explaining her assigned topic.
LOOK! I’M DOING IT AGAIN! DAMN IT!
I love sarcastic people with high vocabularies
There is this time when you cry at something at a movie or a tv series. You cry not because you can relate, but rather, you cry because you can’t and never will be.
I’ve been Monk Marathon-ing since last week. And this episode of Monk made my cry so hard. I’m currently on the second season. The thing is they both have psychological disorder. Adrian Monk has an OCD and other phobias. His brother, also I think suffers from OCD, but his brother has agoraphobia (afraid of getting out of the house) he never left the house for 32 years.
In this episode his brother asks for his help on solving a murder of his neighbor which he adored. He suspects that her husband kills him. Here Adrian found out why his brother didn’t call him when his wife died, the time when he needed a family at the most. His brother’s blames himself for the accident that happened 6 years ago. He said that he was the reason Trudy (Adrian’s late wife) was in that garage because he called her and asked to buy him some medicine for coughs, by then Adrian understood. And also, maybe one of the reasons he didn’t want to go out is because he was waiting for his father to come back.
Then there’s the last part where they solved the case and the suspect attempt to burn the house of Adrian’s brother. What moved me is Adrian; hated dirt a lot and his brother obviously didn’t want to get out despite the fact that then house is burning.
Then at the last part, he was so in shock that he’s outside. And he keeps telling people around him that his brother let him out. Two people conquering their fear because of the brotherly love. <3
Social media has been my friend since I started Yarns and Beads. I made that facebook page over a year ago for portfolio purposes. And by the time I made it, I’ve been making bracelets out of crap. I recycle old bracelets to make new ones, better ones hopefully. And since I joined instagram, people who don’t know about my page order crochet goodies from me through there.
I didn’t really have to advertise much, I mean I don’t make a lot of effort convincing. This may sound arrogant but it’s true. It’s like I’m just waiting for customers. I don’t do all that because, I am still in school and I only crochet on my free time so, convincing people to make me do stuff for them is not that easy.
Anyway, here is the 3 baby sandals, someone ordered this in instagram.
As I previously mentioned, finding the right yarn is hard in this place, so improvising is my only choice.
I have to stitch a sole. This fabric is the kind where seamstress use to make dresses bobble.
Have you ever feel so guilty that you wanted to just hurt yourself? I did. I mean I still feel guilty right now. I feel so guilty that I can’t even explain myself. Because explaining it feels like justifying for inexcusable horrible thing that I’ve done. I wasn’t thinking. I was so insensitive. I shouldn’t have just butt in and laughed about it before (I know, I deserve a bitch slap). I didn’t put myself on his shoes. I’ve ruined his chances. I’ve betrayed him. That wasn’t my story to tell, that was his. Now what? L